a simple wish

sometimes we have wishes that no amount of shopping can grant.
this is one of mine.

i have two cousins. they're brothers. growing up they lived in a different state but would come to north dakota for a few weeks in the summer. this is when i got to know them and love them like they were my own brothers.

they brought their atari 2600 with them and set it up in the basement bedroom inside my grandparents' house. i have very clear memories of playing atari baseball and football in that room lined with knotty pine walls. one summer the boys went out to another relatives' farm and rode the 3-wheelers. one of the boys had a momentary lapse of cognitive control over the brakes as he headed straight for a barbed wire fence. his legs were slashed and hacked so badly he could hardly walk. couldn't have been a fun trip to north dakota that summer.

the boys were so close. they did everything together. and then, somewhere along the line, something happened and drove a stake so powerful between them that they have hardly spoken in years. years. it's a strange feeling to stand outside this rift and wonder how these two brothers who were once so close can hardly stand to be in the same room together. at times i want to stand between them and scream at them and make them get along again. of course, it's not my place to do such a thing despite the fact i'm quite tempted. i feel like i still have two brothers, but not at the same time.

if i were to sit on santa's lap, i would ask him to intervene and somehow remind these two brothers of the love they once shared. i fear that by the time they realize they've wasted so much time spending energy to stay apart, they won't have enough time to spend together in the end. santa can keep all the items on my amazon wish list and give them to anyone else. this christmas, i want my two big brothers back.